Beware of Obvious Advice: How Straightforward Guidance Can Lead to Major Life Problems
It's often said that a piece of seemingly straightforward advice can lead to major problems in life. Perhaps the most obvious advice—one that we've all heard a million times—is to be realistic and practical. For me, this advice has repeatedly led to significant setbacks, and I find myself questioning its effectiveness.
Take the advice, 'Be realistic and practical,' for instance. It sounds simple and sensible enough on the surface: after all, it’s the most common piece of advice given from a place of apparent wisdom. Each time I followed this advice, I found myself taking a step backward rather than forward. This isn't to say that I would jump from the 6th floor of my apartment as a spider-man. But it does highlight the fact that this oft-repeated advice has held us back from reaching our full potential.
Where this advice truly falls flat is when it is linked to the idea that our sense of purpose and security should come from something external. How many individuals are so focused on meeting Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAGs) that they become miserable once they achieve them? These individuals strive for the next goal without a moment’s rest, and their progress is nullified by their constant need for validation.
Let's be clear: while pushing personal goals and striving for success is commendable, this advice can become detrimental when it leads to a lack of self-acceptance. Many people who give this advice adhere to societal norms and standards to a degree that they don't honor their true desires and dreams. If you've heard this advice, especially from someone who has always conformed to societal expectations and never fully embraced their own aspirations, you might want to question its validity.
Do you want to live your life according to the same mediocre path as those who have followed this advice? Or do you want to pursue your dreams, even if it means taking risks? Decide for yourself. It is your life, and you will face the consequences of your decisions.
Another Piece of Destructive Advice: Marry Well
Another piece of misguided advice that can cause significant problems is the suggestion that one should marry wisely. To give such advice, especially to someone you haven't known for a long time, can be perilous. The consequences of marrying poorly can be devastating, and the ramifications of such an ill-considered decision can last a lifetime.
Marrying without careful consideration can lead to a bad marriage, and beyond that, it can affect every aspect of your life. Trust me; this is not a decision to make lightly. Seek wisdom from your friends and family, and listen to their advice, but ultimately, the decision is yours alone to make.
Be True to Yourself
One piece of advice that's universally recommended is to 'be yourself.' While this seems like a sound piece of guidance, it can become problematic when taken to an extreme. Becoming an 'aimless wanderer' isn't going to solve everything; however, overly conforming to societal expectations can stifle your growth and happiness.
The problem with advice like 'be yourself' is that it can lead to isolation. When you're young, friends are essential in helping you navigate life's ups and downs. While it might be tempting to isolate yourself to find yourself, it's important to remember that friends can be both a crutch and a support system. Instead of isolating yourself in the hope of self-discovery, it's better to find a balance between being true to yourself and maintaining a network of supportive friends.
Ultimately, remember that the advice you follow should be aligned with your goals and aspirations. Be mindful of the consequences and weigh your options carefully. Your life is your own, and you must decide how you want to navigate it.